Sex-Crazed Brits Just Doing It Everywhere, Like, Everywhere Man, You Can’t Stop Them, They’re Like Dogs In Heat Or Something, And Dude, I Gotta Get Me Some Of That

Posted: March 22nd, 2004 Comments Off

Oh, prostate audiologist that crafty Cory Doctorow! Prancing around all la-di-da! “Look at me! I put my books on the web for free!” Ain’t he just the shiznit?

Yeah, well, his wasn’t the first big new science-fiction novel to be
given away free on the web, oh no! ‘Cos back in 1997, when I worked on Starship Titanic website, we gave away the entire text of the tie-in novel. (concept by Douglas Adams, book by Terry Jones)

That’s right. Every single word.

(Okay, now you have to go off and get the joke before you continue reading)

Well, okay, not every word, because we left off the last fifty and spun it into one of the web’s stupidest competitions (that was, remarkably, won). But we also showed the world how it was done, with PIPA – one of the silliest/coolest/most compact bits of Perl I’ve ever written.

Returning to Mr Doctorow, I notice that his first novel, Down and Out In The Magic Kingdom has been out in its new remixable form for a while now and not much has been done with it (other than a Russian translation), so it’s time to change that:

Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (CAPIPA Remix) – in which the original has its words reordered alphabetically, using PIPA’s new cousin, CAPIPA, which retains capitalisation. (Thanks for putting it online, Sean!)

“Beautiful,” BEAUTY beauty, became. BECAME because because because
because because because — because because because because because
because because because because because because because because because
become become become become become become become bed bed bed. bed bed
bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed, bed bed bedroom bedroom
bedroom-bedroom beds bedside bedside bedside.
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (Sausages & Mash Remix)
– in which the original has all words beginning with the letters S and
M replaced with “Sausage” and “Mash” respectively, in accordance with
the classic children’s game.

He chuckled. “No sausage, not mash. I’m into the kind of mash sausage that you only come across on-world.”
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (More And Bloodier Wars Remix) – in which the original is run through Babelfish several times, from English to French to German and back to English again. (With some help from Dan Urist’s WWW::Babelfish module)

I never thought that I would live, in order to arise, where the
maintenance would decide A-Movin ‘ Dan at the person in possession of
a favour light up to the death of the heat of the universe.

(Regarding
the bizarre disconnect between what spreadsheet applications were
originally intended to do and what they are used for now, buy the
surprising connection between Excel users and UNIX geeks, link and how I’m
standing out in the cold.)

Read the rest of this entry »

And behold, there came the time of Refactored Overloaded Objects

Posted: March 21st, 2004 Comments Off

Oh, prostate audiologist that crafty Cory Doctorow! Prancing around all la-di-da! “Look at me! I put my books on the web for free!” Ain’t he just the shiznit?

That’s right. Every single word.

(Okay, now you have to go off and get the joke before you continue reading)

Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (CAPIPA Remix) – in which the original has its words reordered alphabetically, using PIPA’s new cousin, CAPIPA, which retains capitalisation. (Thanks for putting it online, Sean!)

“Beautiful,” BEAUTY beauty, became. BECAME because because because
because because because — because because because because because
because because because because because because because because because
become become become become become become become bed bed bed. bed bed
bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed, bed bed bedroom bedroom
bedroom-bedroom beds bedside bedside bedside.
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (Sausages & Mash Remix)
– in which the original has all words beginning with the letters S and
M replaced with “Sausage” and “Mash” respectively, in accordance with
the classic children’s game.

He chuckled. “No sausage, not mash. I’m into the kind of mash sausage that you only come across on-world.”
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (More And Bloodier Wars Remix) – in which the original is run through Babelfish several times, from English to French to German and back to English again. (With some help from Dan Urist’s WWW::Babelfish module)

I never thought that I would live, in order to arise, where the
maintenance would decide A-Movin ‘ Dan at the person in possession of
a favour light up to the death of the heat of the universe.

Read the rest of this entry »

When you’re holding Excel, everything looks like a spreadsheet

Posted: March 14th, 2004 Comments Off

Oh, prostate audiologist that crafty Cory Doctorow! Prancing around all la-di-da! “Look at me! I put my books on the web for free!” Ain’t he just the shiznit?

That’s right. Every single word.

(Okay, now you have to go off and get the joke before you continue reading)

Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (CAPIPA Remix) – in which the original has its words reordered alphabetically, using PIPA’s new cousin, CAPIPA, which retains capitalisation. (Thanks for putting it online, Sean!)

“Beautiful,” BEAUTY beauty, became. BECAME because because because
because because because — because because because because because
because because because because because because because because because
become become become become become become become bed bed bed. bed bed
bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed, bed bed bedroom bedroom
bedroom-bedroom beds bedside bedside bedside.
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (Sausages & Mash Remix)
– in which the original has all words beginning with the letters S and
M replaced with “Sausage” and “Mash” respectively, in accordance with
the classic children’s game.

He chuckled. “No sausage, not mash. I’m into the kind of mash sausage that you only come across on-world.”
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (More And Bloodier Wars Remix) – in which the original is run through Babelfish several times, from English to French to German and back to English again. (With some help from Dan Urist’s WWW::Babelfish module)

I never thought that I would live, in order to arise, where the
maintenance would decide A-Movin ‘ Dan at the person in possession of
a favour light up to the death of the heat of the universe.

Read the rest of this entry »

Every single word

Posted: March 11th, 2004 Comments Off

Oh, prostate audiologist that crafty Cory Doctorow! Prancing around all la-di-da! “Look at me! I put my books on the web for free!” Ain’t he just the shiznit?

That’s right. Every single word.

(Okay, now you have to go off and get the joke before you continue reading)

Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (CAPIPA Remix) – in which the original has its words reordered alphabetically, using PIPA’s new cousin, CAPIPA, which retains capitalisation. (Thanks for putting it online, Sean!)

“Beautiful,” BEAUTY beauty, became. BECAME because because because
because because because — because because because because because
because because because because because because because because because
become become become become become become become bed bed bed. bed bed
bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed, bed bed bedroom bedroom
bedroom-bedroom beds bedside bedside bedside.
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (Sausages & Mash Remix)
– in which the original has all words beginning with the letters S and
M replaced with “Sausage” and “Mash” respectively, in accordance with
the classic children’s game.

He chuckled. “No sausage, not mash. I’m into the kind of mash sausage that you only come across on-world.”
Down and Out In the Magic Kingdom (More And Bloodier Wars Remix) – in which the original is run through Babelfish several times, from English to French to German and back to English again. (With some help from Dan Urist’s WWW::Babelfish module)

I never thought that I would live, in order to arise, where the
maintenance would decide A-Movin ‘ Dan at the person in possession of
a favour light up to the death of the heat of the universe.

Sing-along-a-screaming-monkey

Posted: March 4th, 2004 Comments Off

The
difference between a completed technical standard placed under the
Creative Commons and a truly open one is the difference between being
allowed to scribble over the President’s name in the newspaper and
being able to vote for his opponent in the first place.

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

… by White Ninja

(Incidentally, prostate there’s a comic I saw a while back that I forgot to
bookmark and it’s evaded all Googling: Each panel consists of an
identical layout, with a (1) in the bottom-left corner and a (2) in the
bottom-right, and only the speech bubbles are different. It’s
fantastic. Any pointers would be gratefully received.)

UPDATE: It is Death To The Extremist and it is fab. Go look at it now. To the anonymous notifier – thank you!

Surely
I’m not the only Windows XP user who, cystitis when right-clicking at the bottom
of the screen, diagnosis feels a compulsion to sing “Shareef don’t like it!
(dung-a-nung, dunnng, dung-dung) LOCK the taskbar! LOCK the taskbar!”

The Village Voice recently featured an overview of the American music industry’s past year written by my Burning Man chum Douglas Wolk (who, symptoms along with his writing projects, abortion runs one of the fabbest singles clubs ever). From amongst the usual news from the battle against file sharers this astonishing snippet leapt out at me:

The RIAA is also trumpeting its $200,000 settlement of infringement claims against Nashville’s United Record Pressing,
one of the few vinyl plants still operating in America. (If you bought
an indie-label seven-inch single in the ’90s, it was very likely
pressed there.) It seems that they were hired to press some records
that turned out to include unlicensed content (“more than 170
unauthorized sound recordings”). Everything that customers send to
United is now “audio tested,” and no samples of any kind are permitted.
Fair use? The public domain? Out of the question.

Surely some mistake… but apparently not. As the copyright release says:

Samples are a copyright infringement. ALL samples require
licensing. The licensing MUST accompany the order as to not
delay production of your order. Licensing must be obtained
from the copyright owner of the material being sampled. ANY
sample must be licensed regardless of length.

In other words, if you’re a young MC trying to make a start on the
hip-hop scene with a homebrewed white label 12″ to hand out to the
local DJs, you can pretty much forget about it unless you’re willing to
spend several months (and several thousand in fees) coming up with
licenses for the samples. Admittedly this is not, in itself, news; any kind of sampling without licensing is still illegal
and not covered by the notion of “fair use”. However, this is the first
time it’s been cut off at the point of pressing. Before this, our young
MC could at least get his tune out to gather some buzz and wait until
he’d got a record deal before worrying about sample clearance – which
how so many dance and hip-hop legends got their start. (And I can’t
help but feel sorry for United Record Pressing, who are having to
impose this nonsense while simultaneously trying to cater
to eager DJs touting their tunes at the Miami Winter Music Conference.
Of course, there’s also the fantastic irony of their
hideously-irritating loop samples playing on every page)

However, it’s not only URP that’s been forced into this: they’re just the most notable of a huge number of CD, DVD and vinyl pressing plants across the world who’ve been certified by the International Recording Media Assocation‘s Anti-Piracy Compliance Program,
an attempt to stamp on both unlicensed sampling and pre-release leaking
at the same time. Those plants wishing to take part can look forward to
implementing the APCP Standards & Procedures,
a remarkably stringent set of processes which thrust the vast majority
of the work and responsibility for license-checking into the hands of
the plant staff, in return for which they get to pay several thousand dollars a year. And if, for some unimaginable and probably heretical reason, a plant doesn’t want to join the APCP – well, let’s just hope they’re not pressing anything with uncleared samples, eh? Or they might get a visit.

To me, it just looks like another attempt by the RIAA to hammer
nails into their own coffin by taking on the carriers in the middle –
in this case, the carriers on who they depend. Those upcoming
underground artists who were still hoping to have their own white
labels pressed are getting used to CD burning and MP3 swapping, and
those MP3s are starting to make it all the way to the other end of the
chain without money changing hands in the middle. I’m particularly
frustrated because if there’s one aspect of music that fascinates me,
it’s sampling. As Strictly Kev’s recent, extraordinary Raiding The 20th Century demonstrated,
sampling is not a new or underground phenomenon. It’s a fundamental and
essential component of contemporary music, and until the law (which is
meant to protect and cultivate music) reflects that, then many new
artists are are effectively being charged for every note they play. But
ultimately, who cares? The RIAA doesn’t, and neither do the artists for
whom the legality of sampling is about as relevant as the Ivor Novello
awards. For them, the music industry is both damage to be routed around
and more grist to the mill. As Pop Will Eat Itself said: Sample It, Loop It, Fuck It and Eat It.

… Yiddish for “go to sleep”.

Now doesn’t “gay shlafen” have a softer, viagra buy more soothing sound
than the harsh, find staccato “go to sleep”? Listen to the difference:

“Go to sleep, information pills you little wretch!” … “Gay shlafen, darling.”
Obvious, isn’t it?

Clearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start
speaking Yiddish right now and never speak another word of English as
long as you live. This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all
your friends, business associates, the people at the supermarket, and
so on, but that’s just the point. It has to start with committed
individuals and then grow …

Some minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those
signs written in what look like Yiddish letters won’t be funny when
everything is written in Yiddish. And we’ll have to start driving on
the left side of the road so we won’t be reading the street signs
backwards. But is that too high a price to pay for world peace? I
think not, my friend, I think not.

— Arthur Naiman, “Every Goy’s Guide to Yiddish”

(This is what butter’s fortune gave me today.)

Remember here 1377, see 62324, look 00.html”>this fab Wired piece about the virus-hunters at F-Secure? Remember their blog, full of the latest juicy virus tidbits? At last, there’s an RSS feed. Day made! (Signed, Easily Pleased of Finchley.)

Gay Shlafen

Posted: February 29th, 2004 Comments Off

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

… by White Ninja

UPDATE: It is Death To The Extremist and it is fab. Go look at it now. To the anonymous notifier – thank you!

The RIAA is also trumpeting its $200,000 settlement of infringement claims against Nashville’s United Record Pressing,
one of the few vinyl plants still operating in America. (If you bought
an indie-label seven-inch single in the ’90s, it was very likely
pressed there.) It seems that they were hired to press some records
that turned out to include unlicensed content (“more than 170
unauthorized sound recordings”). Everything that customers send to
United is now “audio tested,” and no samples of any kind are permitted.
Fair use? The public domain? Out of the question.

Surely some mistake… but apparently not. As the copyright release says:

Samples are a copyright infringement. ALL samples require
licensing. The licensing MUST accompany the order as to not
delay production of your order. Licensing must be obtained
from the copyright owner of the material being sampled. ANY
sample must be licensed regardless of length.

… Yiddish for “go to sleep”.

Now doesn’t “gay shlafen” have a softer, viagra buy more soothing sound
than the harsh, find staccato “go to sleep”? Listen to the difference:

“Go to sleep, information pills you little wretch!” … “Gay shlafen, darling.”
Obvious, isn’t it?

— Arthur Naiman, “Every Goy’s Guide to Yiddish”

(This is what butter’s fortune gave me today.)

The RIAA Will Eat Itself

Posted: February 16th, 2004 | 1 Comment »

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

… by White Ninja

UPDATE: It is Death To The Extremist and it is fab. Go look at it now. To the anonymous notifier – thank you!

The RIAA is also trumpeting its $200,000 settlement of infringement claims against Nashville’s United Record Pressing,
one of the few vinyl plants still operating in America. (If you bought
an indie-label seven-inch single in the ’90s, it was very likely
pressed there.) It seems that they were hired to press some records
that turned out to include unlicensed content (“more than 170
unauthorized sound recordings”). Everything that customers send to
United is now “audio tested,” and no samples of any kind are permitted.
Fair use? The public domain? Out of the question.

Surely some mistake… but apparently not. As the copyright release says:

Samples are a copyright infringement. ALL samples require
licensing. The licensing MUST accompany the order as to not
delay production of your order. Licensing must be obtained
from the copyright owner of the material being sampled. ANY
sample must be licensed regardless of length.

Attribute Clash

Posted: February 15th, 2004 | 2 Comments »

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

… by White Ninja

UPDATE: It is Death To The Extremist and it is fab. Go look at it now. To the anonymous notifier – thank you!

I am charmed

Posted: February 15th, 2004 Comments Off

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

… by White Ninja

UPDATE: It is Death To The Extremist and it is fab. Go look at it now. To the anonymous notifier – thank you!

On standards

Posted: February 14th, 2004 Comments Off

(Note: I’m not referring to any particular standard in either case. I’m just saying.)

Yoz Grahame's Unresolvable Discrepancy

I came here to apologise and eat biscuits, and I'm all out of biscuits

Sex-Crazed Brits Just Doing It Everywhere, Like, Everywhere Man, You Can’t Stop Them, They’re Like Dogs In Heat Or Something, And Dude, I Gotta Get Me Some Of That

And behold, there came the time of Refactored Overloaded Objects

When you’re holding Excel, everything looks like a spreadsheet

Every single word

Sing-along-a-screaming-monkey

Gay Shlafen

The RIAA Will Eat Itself

Attribute Clash

I am charmed

On standards

Archive

yoz's bookmarks

yoz on twitter

Meta