Yoz Grahame's Unresolvable Discrepancy

I came here to apologise and eat biscuits, and I'm all out of biscuits

How to fumble the carrying thing

Posted: February 28th, 2003 | 14 Comments »

To Erin Discordia, cheapest human enhancement a daughter: Ada Trouble Norton wrote her first blog entry an hour and half after arrival. Well done, global burden of disease Quinn. (And Dad and Dad.)


<Gilbert> ada is doing a really good impersonation of a cgi baby
<Yoz> you're disturbing me now
<Gilbert> no it's true
<Gilbert> ok she's looking less cgi now
<Gilbert> there's just some random-baby-eye movemnts that are very pixar

The WAVs are mostly scary but the moment five minutes into the second one, where Gilbert says “Oh my fucking god…” and the baby starts crying… well, I go all gooey.

The North-West London Eruv launches this week, search which is a big deal if you’re an Orthodox Jew living in its boundaries, visit as I am. On the Sabbath we aren’t allowed to carry things around in public areas (i.e. outside our houses and gardens), web but the eruv is a special kind of construction that marks a much larger boundary that makes carrying permissible. It’s a weird kind of hack in Halacha (Jewish law) but we’re not the first by a long shot – many cities worldwide have had eruvim for quite a while now. It’s just taken so long in London because of a stupid level of politics over something that ultimately consists of about eight strategically-placed poles and a few wires.

Thing is, those wires and poles are fragile, so the eruv has to be checked every week. If there’s a problem, the whole community has to be alerted so that we don’t end up using an eruv that isn’t there. This is where the website comes in – in the top-left corner of the front page you’ll see a traffic light image and some text that indicates (this week anyway) that the eruv is up and running.

What’s that? You can’t see it? Ah. That’ll be because you’re using Mozilla. Or Safari. Or a phone browser. Or anything that isn’t MSIE. Or you’re running MSIE with Javascript turned off. Or you’re a disabled person using a browser with extra accessability features, and now you’re really annoyed because the main recipients of the benefits of the eruv are, of course, disabled people. The silliest thing here is that the web page seems to be dynamically-generated anyway (or, at least, hand-edited at least once a week)

(Yes, I do know how weird this all sounds. It’s strange and silly to me, and I’ve grown up with it.)


14 Comments on “How to fumble the carrying thing”

  1. 1 Cory Doctorow said at 4:39 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    The part I don’t get: if you’re not supposed to operate a computer on the Sabbath, how are the Orthodox meant to load the webpage before venturing out of doors with parcels?

  2. 2 Andrew Los said at 4:40 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    Still, they make great bird feeders. If you’re local sparrows are fond of kugel or kneidlach, of course. But, like the rest of us, they’ve probably grown up with it.

  3. 3 Andrew Los said at 4:44 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    Ah no Cory, you miss the subtlety of the affair – we can’t *operate* machinery or flames. But if the flame is already on, then you’re not doing anything, are you? So, just before sunset on Friday, you load up the webpage and leave it there until Sunday morning, quietly burning itself into your monitor.
    Of course, non-Jews are probably employed at weekends to update the thing. I think that’s called GoyFi.

  4. 4 Cory Doctorow said at 4:49 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    So the page has an http-refresh directive that reloads it every couple minutes?
    Shabbas Goy-Fi!

  5. 5 Yoz said at 4:52 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    The idea is that the final word goes up on Friday lunchtime – you check before the Sabbath and take that as the final word. There’s also an email and SMS service, though (in classic synagogue style) they seem to be demanding an 18 quid donation for subscription.
    Talking of the Sabbath, I am running *astonishingly* late… seeya!

  6. 6 Cory Doctorow said at 4:57 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    Are email and SMS kosher on Shabbos?

  7. 7 Andrew Los said at 5:43 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    Only if you’re oy-mailing the rabbi…

  8. 8 The Pagan Prattle Online said at 10:40 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    Taking the eruv with the smooth

    An eruv is a special enclosure used by Orthodox Jews to symbolically extend the boundary of the home, and therefore permit certain actions, such as pushing a wheelchair, which would not otherwise be allowed on the Sabbath. In other words, it’s a legal…

  9. 9 Ultra Orthadox said at 10:59 pm on February 28th, 2003:

    I don’t understand how circumventing the spirit of the Sabbath by allowing the eruv is tolerated. The Halacha says you can’t go out carrying things. So to “get around” this, they say “Hmmm…but we do want to go out carrying things”, and build the eruv.
    The minute you start bending the rules to fit the lifestyle that exists without the rules, then the rules cease to exist. Using the eruv or any other “hack” just shows that either the law is idiotic in the first place or the follower is not truly following what they say they are.

  10. 10 Tim said at 7:38 pm on March 1st, 2003:

    Words almost fail me 🙂
    To describe such a set of rules, and such a patently ridiculous way of circumventing them, and then to complain about the ‘stupid levels of politics’ that prevents you from doing this…well. It just makes me laugh.
    “LOOK! It’s prefectly simple! ALL we are trying to do is erect a wire around a large area of London in order to FOOL our G-d into believing that we think it’s our property, so that we can carry things. I mean, what the hell is that matter with you?! What’s with all the illogical petty rules anyway?”
    “Ours or yours, Sir?”
    “Shut up.”
    I don’t know much about religion, but I find it hard to believe the big guy is buying any of this crap.
    And is the wire there to keep the Jews in, or the cows out? 😉

  11. 11 Jim said at 12:55 am on March 2nd, 2003:

    Is it any wonder there are more Jedi Knights than Jews in the UK now?
    Let’s face it, when it’s a choice between a lightsabre and a dradle, well, it’s really no choice at all.

  12. 12 Aryeh said at 5:59 pm on June 5th, 2003:

    You’re all confused. What did the Eiruv ever do to you, that you attack it so viciously?
    In Judaism, the Creator is not a static Law-giver. If you were a law-giver yourself, wouldn’t you make the laws at least as flexible as a piece of chewing gum? Think so?
    So, the Creator wrote His laws, and stipulated that the Jewish Highcourt have the authority to meddle with the law the way they see fit. The same Highcourt decided that wires are a virtual wall around a city they encircle, for the sake of the Jews, thereby increasing the dimensions of the private domain (where carrying is logically permitted anyway) to the proportions of a city – right? – like, you can carry inside a house, no problem with that, ah? So why shouldn’t you be able to carry inside a city? A city is like a big house, if we’re all friendly and brotherly with each other, and sometimes sisterly, too, but that’s a different discussion.
    As far as the all important spirit of the law, the Rabbis conserve this spirit at all times; even when they seemingly abrogate a law, they do it in a way that infuses additional spirit into the remaining, unabrogated laws. In this case, while the spirit of the Shabbos law diminished, the spirit of the law of Rabbinical Authority in general was greatly expanded: for now they showed us the great authority that G-d gave the Highcourt allowing the rabbis to meddle with the divine Law. Amen.
    So, there is a law of conservation of spirit in Judaism, just like there is a law of conservation of momentum in the universe.

  13. 13 ken said at 4:46 pm on August 3rd, 2003:

    Actually, there is a slight misconception. There are three types of “domain” in regards to the Sabbath. One, the private domain, like a house and courtyard where no one argues that you can carry, even withOUT an eruv. Another ‘domain’ is the public domain which is a road that has 600,000 or more people a day travelling along it. No one argues that you can NOT carry in this area with or without an Eruv. There is a third ‘domain’ that falls in the middle. In order to not confuse this area and carry where we are not allowed, the rabbis declared that you can NOT carry in the area withOUT an eruv. It does not “Fool” G-d or anyone that we are getting away with anything. It allows us to differentiate two types of areas. As for checking the traffic signal on Shabbos, that is not neccesary. Once the eruv is considered functional just before shabbos it remains functional as it is not allowing us to do anything that the Bible prohibits.

  14. 14 Gary Dutton said at 7:32 am on December 5th, 2004:

    why don’t we just erect 8 poles and a few bits of wire all around the coast of England, but hey, why do we need to? The coast is a boundary in itself isn’t it?

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