Debbie Barham, 1976 – 2003

Posted: April 29th, 2003 | 5 Comments »

Wrong coast, and dammit. While everyone else is having fun , resuscitation I’ve been in Florida, men’s health having spent Passover with family in a big golf resort in Palm Beach. I shouldn’t be complaining as it was really lovely and relaxing and the food was great and I got to play wise science-explaining uncle to my eight-year-old cousin and I gained a kilo or nine. But, as I am currently explaining to Gilbert in an AIM window, I would much rather have been camping in a tent in a backyard in San Jose. (I’m trying to keep up with the notes, but as usual, Webb is typing faster than I can read.)

If you’re wondering what it’s like taking part in a Jewish festival, let me give you a sample of the one before the one just gone: Purim. More specifically, a sample of what happens if you spend the Purim meal at my friends the Goldbergs, receiving wave after wave of spielers. These are bunches of kids who run around the Jewish neighbourhoods on Purim night, performing songs and sketches and collecting for charities. The Goldbergs live right in the heart of Golders Green, which is the most Jewish place in Britain, so the spielers were, at points, queueing three acts deep at the door.

Anyway, for the three-minute, digested version, see Purim 2003 in Golders Green: What You Missed. (That file is being shared using Open Content Network to help ease bandwidth use, but mainly just to prove to myself that it’s easy. If you have problems or just can’t be bothered with all the faffing and needing Java Web Start, try this link instead) Also, the photos are here.

(This post would have been made on Friday while I was still in Miami, but MT wasn’t playing dice – turns out to be some weird Trackback autodiscovery bug that made MT hang when certain links were included. Arse.)

I first saw the name “D.A. Barham” in 1994: she was one of the first customers at Delphi UK, pharm the tiny offshoot of the then-huge US online service, and I was doing phone support in my spare time from university. She was funny, smart and wild, making a big difference to the otherwise-dull forums. After that, I started seeing her name in lots of other places: not just online, but in the credits of almost every topical comedy show on TV. (I’m sure that nearly every person in Britain has laughed at one of her gags) In 1997, I was being shown around the offices of my new job when she recognised me and pulled me out into the hallway for a chat – we ended up working on the same game. The last time I saw her in person was when we went for a drink in Soho two years ago. The last time I heard from her was when she commented on one of my blog entries a mere three months ago. (I meant to mail her. Really, I did. Idiot.)

I had no idea she was dead until this morning, when I found Bruce Hyman’s send-off in the Guardian. It will be a few days until the stunned feeling wears off. She was too talented and way too fucking young. I have various memories of her illness, but I’d rather not dwell on them. (I know it’d piss her off.) On the illness itself: the most shocking Google query I’ve ever run.

UPDATE (30/04): Cover story of today’s Guardian G2 section.

5 Comments on “Debbie Barham, 1976 – 2003”

1 Tim said at 1:30 pm on April 29th, 2003:
Goddamn fucking hell.
Debs was the first professional comedy writer I know who told me the stuff I wrote was funny. For that alone I owe her more than I’ll be ever to repay now.
And it’s true that I never ceased to be amazed at the number of times her name would crop up in the credits of a comedy programme. Like Colin Bostock-Smith, except funny.
And I did email her, Yoz, and I don’t feel any better, so don’t beat yourself up about it. 🙁
We need to stop losing funny DAs.
2 Jo said at 12:37 pm on May 9th, 2003:
Hi,
I truly am sadden to read of Debbie’s death. It truly sad to see yet another sufferer die from this illness.
in relation to your search, not all of us are ‘pro-eating disordered’. there are many legitmate sufferers out there that do not gloat about the illness and/or post on such forums. i for one, despite numerous hospital admissions, am quite secretive about my struggles and live a somewhat reclusive exsistence.
i send my deepest sympathy to you and all that knew deb.
condolences,
jo
3 frizzyLogic said at 8:23 pm on May 15th, 2003:
A slender thread

I’ve been wandering down the dark alleyways of anorexia today. It started, strangely enough, with Jonathon Delacour’s appreciation of Audrey Hepburn. Then Burning Bird made this response. And then there were the trackbacks to her post. What struck me w…
4 Nick Endacott said at 11:35 pm on May 27th, 2003:
Hi
I’m very sad and shocked to hear of Debbies death.
I found her a true inspiration to the world of comedy.
It is such a shame that another brilliant,bright,
attractive talent is lost in this way.
My thoughts go out to all her family and friends
who have just lost a beautiful person.
Nick
5 Peter Barham said at 4:35 pm on May 29th, 2003:
Thanks for all the comments guys – Debs would have been suitably embarrassed. We’ve all lost one of the funniest parts of this world, but she’ll be making me laugh for years, and you too, I hope.
Just keep remembering……and if you’ve got any memories you want to share, mail debs@barhamuk.com. We’ll be putting a tribute site together shortly.
Peter (Debs Dad)

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Debbie Barham, 1976 – 2003

5 Comments on “Debbie Barham, 1976 – 2003”

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